Monday, August 23, 2010


I was incredulous upon first viewing, as I usually am whenever I view a Sony trainwreck for the first time. It's so much like a "Wait....Really?" vibe that I'm surprised every bit of advertising that comes out of their department doesn't get approved at least 3 or 4 times before they start shooting.

Are you kidding? I suppose it'd be funny to anyone with their head in the sand like Sony apparently is about their own device, but last time I checked, critically (and from the perspective of yours truly), I think it's funny that the iPhone versions of games like Need for Speed Underground, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (which combines the graphics from the PSP version with the touch features of the DS rev), and Prince of Persia: Warrior Within are all better than PSP versions of the same name. I also find it of a particularly amusing pedigree that it also does FPS games and the like better, as its responsive touch-screen allows for all manner of faux dual-analog setups that work much better then they ever ought to.

Hell, even your sad attempt at a bite sized game store with "PSP minis" is a resounding failure, as most of the games on the service offer much too little for a little too much. Kind of sounds like the PSPgo, your failed stab at the success of Apple's App store without an inkling of what -exactly- has made the service usurp your position, accomplishing in two years what you have struggled to do for five.

Perhaps instead of attempting to make scathing "jabs" at Apple's device, you should be figuring out how in two years, they managed to trump you in the portable gaming market.

Then you can get back to figuring out how to make the platform relevant this week, needless revisions, failed experiments, and desperate rumors notwithstanding.

Also....PLEASE stop using the little kid from Role Models/Land of the Lost/Whateverthehell. He really isn't funny when he's not swearing a mile a minute. Every single bit of his routine feels forced not only because someone his age wouldn't bother, but also because the PSP is such a stopgap between failure and moneysink that the irony of their fun-poking ads only causes one to shake their head in disbelief. Sega took potshots at Nintendo back in the day and it was funny, and all in good fun. This is just obnoxious. He is just obnoxious.

Seriously. Screw off.

Whatever. I suppose ports would be a step in the right direction though. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join em, right? This seems to always be your policy. I wonder how much fun it'll be in a lower resolution, without the dual analog control scheme that made it such a hit on its original platform (not to mention its $4.99 price point). At least it'll get decent games on the platform at a rate faster than once every 6 months.

Really, if anything at this point, they need to consider the potential threat that the 3DS represents, as they will no longer have the raw power advantage to assert their "superiority" over the DS anymore. If the original DS model represented innovation at the cost of technology, then the 3DS, with its Gamecube esque processing power and glasses-free 3D technology represents a successful marriage of power and new frontier.

How they can continue to ignore something like that, and continue to out out these baseless ads is beyond me.

But then again, I'm used to something like this coming from Sony, the only company with their heads so far into the sand that it reaches their nether regions.

If that sounds amusing, it's only because it's true. They tried to write the Xbox off, and look at what happened. Keep doing the same with the iPhone.

I dare ya.

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