...Goddammit, Ninja Theory.

Ninja Theory + DMC = (Stephen)Dorff May Cry?

Devil May C(ash in on current vampire marketing trends)?

No thanks. No really. I can appreciate the refusal to continue where DMC2 left off, but dammit, we can't keep making him younger. While I have no problem with yet another prequel, I have an issue with the way he looks. We went from the handsome boyish charm of DMC3 Dante, to this travesty? Brandon Lee is probably turning in his grave due to misappropriation of his likeness.

Seriously. He looks like something a Crow direct-to-DVD movie shat out while squatting in front of Hot Topic.



I'm looking at these screens, and I'm wondering what the hell happened here. As a fan of DMC since the beginning, I'm well aware that at the conclusion of DMC 3, Dante was around 19 years old. Just HOW much younger is he supposed to be here, and...why in the hell is his hair black?

I don't trust Ninja Theory. Enslaved looks really nice and everything, but after a track record that is literally limited to Kung Fu Chaos on the original Xbox, and Heavenly Sword, sue me if I'm just a LITTLE skeptical about the direction they're taking DMC in with this alleged reboot. This is even with the promise that this new title will, in their words: "retain the series’ signature mix of sword and gunplay but add additional weapons, all new powers and a revitalised gameplay system as players encounter the game’s devilish mix of enemies and navigate the rich, interactive environment."

...Hopefully that "revitalised" gameplay system includes a jump button.

As far as I could tell, DMC didn't NEED rebooting, and the fact that Dante looks like he's as goth as his surroundings is unsettling. As an angsty rebellious action hero with platinum white hair, he was just cheesy enough to be self-depreciating and cool at the same time. Here, I just don't know what to think. What was wrong with continuing from where 4 left off, in a comfortable place between 1 and 2? I for one enjoyed (relatively) mature Dante, and wanted to know more about Nero, including his connection to the Sparda family. Now, like the Prince of Persia reboot that Ubisoft gave up on, it looks like I'll never see that new thread fleshed out.

Lost in a sea of marketing and..oh hell I don't know.

Fuck this game so far. They'd better flip this faster than Cole's unnecessary re-redesign in inFamous 2, or I can't see myself playing this at any point in the future.



GOD. Why the hell does he look like Edward Cullen?

Yep. Just as I can't unsee it, neither will you. Crab in a bucket, we're all goin' down.

Source: Destructoid [TGS: New Devil May Cry starring a younger Dante revealed]

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Wait...Really?

I was incredulous upon first viewing, as I usually am whenever I view a Sony trainwreck for the first time. It's so much like a "Wait....Really?" vibe that I'm surprised every bit of advertising that comes out of their department doesn't get approved at least 3 or 4 times before they start shooting.

Are you kidding? I suppose it'd be funny to anyone with their head in the sand like Sony apparently is about their own device, but last time I checked, critically (and from the perspective of yours truly), I think it's funny that the iPhone versions of games like Need for Speed Underground, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars (which combines the graphics from the PSP version with the touch features of the DS rev), and Prince of Persia: Warrior Within are all better than PSP versions of the same name. I also find it of a particularly amusing pedigree that it also does FPS games and the like better, as its responsive touch-screen allows for all manner of faux dual-analog setups that work much better then they ever ought to.

Hell, even your sad attempt at a bite sized game store with "PSP minis" is a resounding failure, as most of the games on the service offer much too little for a little too much. Kind of sounds like the PSPgo, your failed stab at the success of Apple's App store without an inkling of what -exactly- has made the service usurp your position, accomplishing in two years what you have struggled to do for five.



Perhaps instead of attempting to make scathing "jabs" at Apple's device, you should be figuring out how in two years, they managed to trump you in the portable gaming market.

Then you can get back to figuring out how to make the platform relevant this week, needless revisions, failed experiments, and desperate rumors notwithstanding.

Also....PLEASE stop using the little kid from Role Models/Land of the Lost/Whateverthehell. He really isn't funny when he's not swearing a mile a minute. Every single bit of his routine feels forced not only because someone his age wouldn't bother, but also because the PSP is such a stopgap between failure and moneysink that the irony of their fun-poking ads only causes one to shake their head in disbelief. Sega took potshots at Nintendo back in the day and it was funny, and all in good fun. This is just obnoxious. He is just obnoxious.


Seriously. Screw off.

Whatever. I suppose ports would be a step in the right direction though. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join em, right? This seems to always be your policy. I wonder how much fun it'll be in a lower resolution, without the dual analog control scheme that made it such a hit on its original platform (not to mention its $4.99 price point). At least it'll get decent games on the platform at a rate faster than once every 6 months.

Really, if anything at this point, they need to consider the potential threat that the 3DS represents, as they will no longer have the raw power advantage to assert their "superiority" over the DS anymore. If the original DS model represented innovation at the cost of technology, then the 3DS, with its Gamecube esque processing power and glasses-free 3D technology represents a successful marriage of power and new frontier.



How they can continue to ignore something like that, and continue to out out these baseless ads is beyond me.

But then again, I'm used to something like this coming from Sony, the only company with their heads so far into the sand that it reaches their nether regions.

If that sounds amusing, it's only because it's true. They tried to write the Xbox off, and look at what happened. Keep doing the same with the iPhone.

I dare ya.

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Quick Thought - Bayonetta

Bayonetta is the best action game this year, Period. Yes I realize I'm saying this when God of War 3 is on the cusp of release. Yes, I realize the year just started.

But my definition of what makes a great action game, and an epic action game what they are are two different things.

While there isn't any doubt in my mind that God of War will be an epic spectacle, a graphical and aural marvel with some of the most cinematic and downright visceral moments in gaming coupled with a stellar storyline, these are all bullet points.

Genuinely?

On its merits as an infinitely playable action game, I don't think it'll top Bayonetta.

Bayonetta is fun, fast, gorgeous and has unprecedented depth. It's as much a celebration of action games as it is gaming in general, refuses to take itself too seriously, and in terms of creativity and completely off-the-wall game design, I've never played ANYTHING like it.

It has a very endearing, self-referential arcade game quality to it that makes it addictive, and the sheer number of weapons and combat situations, coupled with some of the most over the top setpieces I've ever seen, ensure there's a reason to play it over and over, discovering something new nearly every time. No really. When your character's potential moveset has enough depth to rival that of a Virtua Fighter character, something special is going on there.

God of War cannot claim this. As polished as its combat engine is, it's still an intensely cinematic game that's meant to be experienced, not replayed like a traditional game. When it's over, it's over, and there will be stories, but revisiting is just smoothing over familiar territory. A replay of God of War is nostalgic at best.

Replaying Bayonetta is peeling back layers. I've gone through the game twice, have replayed countless missions and boss fights, and I'm STILL finding out new things, still having as much fun as I had the first go-around.

Similar to what Rockstar did with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas in reminding everyone in the industry exactly who the master of the open-world genre was, Hideki Kamiya and Platinum Games just stepped in and reminded everyone exactly who redefined the action genre in 2001 in the first place.


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Quick Thought - Another lemming.

Out of any console allegiance, Sony fans get the most offended when you declare their brand anything less than perfect. Fact.

I was speaking to someone the other day.


He talks about Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm and tells me it simply isn’t possible on any other system because it’s only on the PS3. I correct him and casually let him know, it’s certainly very possible on a 360, given the right coding, and that it being exclusive is a combination of platform preference (Cyberconnect 2 has traditionally made Naruto games for the PS2) and business (money comes first.). He freaks out on me, ignores both points. and starts name dropping exclusive titles like Uncharted, Killzone, all the while telling me that not one of them is possible on the 360, and that the system has peaked in terms of graphical fidelity.



He declares Uncharted’s graphics as the most AMAZING THING EVER and goes on to tell me the game isn’t possible on any other console because of the power of the Cell. He tells me Gears of War 2 doesn’t look all that great.



It’s a pointless argument, a baseless argument, and whenever I hear people start to name drop the Cell Processor and Blu-Ray disc as reasons for Playstation 3 superiority, my brain shuts off. You people aren’t programmers, or coders. You know nothing. Yes, I said it.

I told him it’s possible with the right kind of coding. Uncharted is a gorgeous game and has a lot going on under the hood of the PS3, but if Naughty Dog were as dedicated to the 360’s architecture as they were to the PS3’s, it would definitely become a reality. This is the case of any developer. Mastering one console instead of spreading yourself thin across several will always yield the best results, no matter what platform you’re working on. I was yelled at for my opinion.



Drinking the Kool-aid of your favorite console manufacturer still seems to be the order of the day. Then again, Sony fans are a bit butthurt. They flail wildly whenever you speak an ill word about the Playstation, or declare it to be anything less than immaculate.

I’ll keep allowing them to lick their wounds irrationally. I know I would be if I spent $600+ dollars on my PS3 at launch and spent 3 years being promised brand dominance that still has yet to be realized. I’m sure it’s terrible watching a modified Gamecube take the lead and be forced to trail behind the breadcrumbs of filthy, monopolistic Americans.

I wouldn't know that anguish. I'm a gamer, not a sheep, and I go wherever the games are.
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Quick Thought - Fighters

It seems like 2009 is the year the of the fighting game. Really, for a genre that I thought was on the steady decline, it seems that all of the biggest names of the genre are making some sort of comeback. Just for kicks, here's how it's going down in '09:

-First Capcom stuns us all with Street Fighter 4. It's also no secret that ultra rare (and incredibly broken) fighter Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is going to be downloadable around the end of July. Then mid summer, they drop a ball on us confirming the impossible--Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is coming to the states (only on the Wii), possibly by the end of this year.

-Namco finally decides to make Tekken 6 a definite fall release (on three platforms!) with the added bonus of also releasing Soulcalibur: Broken Destiny(or Soulcalibur IV: Kratos edition) for the PSP.

-Not about to be outdone, SNK decides to revitalize and reinvent King of Fighters with the upcoming KOF XII, bring us back in time with an XBLA version of Garou: Mark of the Wolves, and take us even FURTHER back with KOF 98': Ultimate Match.

-Sensing something amiss (and looking to steal a bit of thunder from SNK, methinks), Arc System Works realizes after the English release of Guilty Gear X2 Accent Core Plus it can't afford to keep milking Guilty Gear X2 like Street Fighter 2,(aside from sega locking them out of creative control of the GG franchise) and decides to take THEIR universe forward with Blazblue: Calamity Trigger.

So yeah. It's a good time to invest in an arcade stick, if you dig this kind of thing.

Or at least a fight pad. I know I have.

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