Hiatus.

I've taken a month off. Have I run out of things to say? Nay. It's rather slow this time of year..

Or that could be an excuse. Has my brain run out of steam? Perhaps not. I've just been gaming like you wouldn't believe. Dedicated a portion of my brain to Mortal Kombat, made my way through a 3D Zelda, watched my girlfriend get her 1947 on via L.A. Noire, saved the world (twice) in Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon, hell, I even tied up loose ends Child of Eden and Shadows of the Damned, both of which performed terribly at retail..

;(

It's been quite a June. But a very depressing month for the industry, this has been. So I went into exile for a bit and covered my tracks. Have to be ready for this fall. These fingertips are moving.

After all, Bobby Kotick did just say something not too long ago about the high price of innovation... *snicker*

Oh yeah. I'm not done yet.
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Seriously, Nintendo?

Now, I'm all for padding out the sales numbers and all, it makes for good quarterlies and impressive press releases, but really, what's the point of this? The $19.99 price tag doesn't do much to soften the blow of the ludicrous, either.

It's not like they didn't already default their way to the title of one of the best selling games of all time simply by including one for FREE with each Wii sold, or anything.

I mean, I'm all for Nintendo finally giving games like Twilight Princess a sorely needed price drop (5 years in the making?) while they work to release a real "next-gen" console not being held back by its own gimmicks, but isn't there a subtle admission of failure being made when you try to sell me a free pack in game? The one that started the irreversible trend of effortless minigame-games that became a staple of your console's (mostly) shovelware library?

For the same price as a legit (yet criminally undersold) game like Madworld, even?



Y'know, part of the reason "hardcore" software failed on the Wii was due to the fact that it had to compete with the casual offerings at the same price, and the new audience Nintendo spawned couldn't tell the difference in quality, but went with the fluff because it seemed much safer from a new buyer's prospective. Way to exemplify why you scared off your core audience with this console, Nintendo.

..and why you're replacing it so soon.



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Block Breaker Bird?

Angry Birds is inescapable!



Ever since it’s 2009 debut, it seems impossible to not have heard of the gaggle of irascible, wingless (perhaps that’s why they’re so angry?) fowl and the pigs who can’t get enough of stealing their eggs. Their popularity isn’t confined to the phone either, with plush and animated versions of them popping up , and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a movie at some point. They’re mainstream in a good way, and even though we’ve yet to see the LEGO stamp of approval on that notion, fan and master LEGO Ambassador Chiukeung has gotten the hard part out of the way and brought them to life.





If you suddenly feel like you want one as much as I do, head on over to his Facebook where there are more pictures of his handiwork on display. It’s really impressive, also a case for LEGO to get on this. Hopefully sooner rather than later!

Seriously though. I want one. Either this or a NERF version so I can literally slingshot them at random passerby.

Either is fine.:)

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IRL Box?

Love Cut the Rope? If you have an iOS device, OF COURSE YOU DO. The fun, addictive puzzle game from Zeptolab is extremely hard to put down once you’ve picked it up, and semi-frequent updates ensure that adorable character Om Nom’s hunger (and your spare time) are kept at bay.

The latest update added the “Magic Box”, which, in addition to 25 new levels and three achievements, adds a new element in the form of top hats, teleporting a new layer of complexity towards players’ feeding endeavors.

To celebrate the release, the wonderful people at Zeptolab constructed a MASSIVE demo unit at Los Angeles' Hollywood & Highland Center. Looking like it was pulled straight from the game, the unit features 9 huge touch screens well suited for all sorts of rope cutting, creature feeding craziness.

I’m not sure what else needs to be said, because if you’ve played this even once, you’re probably already halfway across the state to run off and conquer this thing. If you aren’t situated on the West Coast, fear not! Another one was spotted in Atlanta International Airport.

Road trip, anyone?

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Accurate depiction of your friendlist on 9-14-2010.

Yep.


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Gorilla-Proof

Akin to the legend of the Gulf War Game Boy, things like this just constantly reaffirm my stance that products from Nintendo are designed to withstand nuclear fallout. I mean, there are several written accounts of the little handheld that could surviving everything from avalanches, to rollercoasters, to well...WARS, and if this is any indication, we will NEVER be done recounting crazy tales of Nintendo's voodoo craftsmanship.

...Or ability to appeal to EVERYONE.

The story's almost too good to be true. Some knucklehead boy at the San Francisco Zoo accidentally drops his DSI XL into a Gorilla habitat. Noticing almost instantly, a massive honking gorilla approaches it, and instead of flattening it out of sheer animal madness, actually picks it up and inspects it. He then proceeds to open the thing and flip it around, presumably looking for the power button, but after several attempts, ends up looking just plain confused.

But it gets better! A smaller one approaches, and tries to show the big one how it's done...and fails as well after attempts culminating with trying to "see" through it. Presumably frustrated that he cannot get his DK on, big dude snatches it back, tries to flatten it, then finally EAT it before being lured over by a trainer, who traded him the DSi for something more edible.

I don't know what's more amazing. That the gorilla actually tried to play it, or that aside from some drool and scuffs, the DS was fully operational when it was returned.

How sneaky of you, Nintendo. Your announcement that this thing was for "old people" and "people with bad eyesight" was just a smoke screen. It's clear to me now who the intended audience was. Giant screen, giant stylus, it all makes sense now! Target audience get!

GORILLAS.

Who would've thought?


Source: You Got Donkey Kong On This Thing?

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What do you want me to say?

I have no words. I wish I did, I wish I could be jaded, I wish it didn't matter because we're already used to TERRIBLE and sometimes AWFUL adaptations of the games we know and love, but even this is a bit much for my digestion.

I even hate to write off these two, because under any other name, this could've been an annoying, generic black-meets-white-lol-easy-racist-joke buddy comedy (already filled this year by Copout), but with the Kane and Lynch name on it, I have nothing but visions of the future, and they are NOT good..



I mean, how in the HELL am I supposed to realistically believe that These two..



Are these two?



I know our medium still hasn't gotten its due respect, but I'm a gamer. My suspension of disbelief can only be pushed so far..

..before I start to feel like I'm being mocked.

I don't think I'm being too extreme, either. I know that more often than not, we have characters who couldn't POSSIBLY exist in the real world, so their design gets compromised a bit, maybe even altered but...have they really stopped trying to THIS extent? Hell, Kane and Lynch wasn't even all that as a game, and it looks like the same care is going in here for the adaptation. I want to give it the benefit of the doubt, I know all I've seen is this fuzzy poster, but I keep thinking about this, and I don't even see a movie here, I just see a huge paycheck.

And man, does it sound like someone is laughing all the way to the bank.



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Oh no...I haven't forgotten about you.

I'm just starting to filter the content that spills into here..less business and more personal, as we started.. just a bit of time. Great things are being written. :D






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Someone's got to clean up the mess.

/hiatus end.


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Aural Elbow Drop.

I own a surround system. In fact, I have since 2004. When the speakers on my "great" television at the time started to die out, I searched frantically for a solution, and lo and behold, my present that year for christmas was a 5.1 surround system of my choosing. Since then I've never looked back.

Sure, I've upgraded my television since then, but sound is the one thing that continues to matter to me. I'm usually the person preaching the contextual value of good graphics, but when the chips are down, I'd take an amazing aural experience over visuals any day. Your eyes can always overcompensate for what you're seeing, but you can't trick your ears.

My favorite example to use is Dead Space...given the choice, which would enrich the experience more; clarity towards already great visuals, or the ability to experience the constant ambient punctuation the game provides, being able to feel the Necromorphs crawling all around you?

With that notion, when I'd finally had enough of my subwoofer not delivering the punch I wanted to, I replaced it. I expected little more than a boost to sounds I was already acquainted with.

I got more than I bargained for.


In a good way.

I was surprised at what I was hearing. I popped in Uncharted 2 and fired up the train sequence. I started hearing things I'd never heard before. Subtleties in the audio made me connect with my surroundings more. I felt more genuine fear at the gunship when it appeared than I had previously. Moreover, it felt like I was there. When everything collapsed and went to hell, my room shook along with the sequence and pulled me in even further.



It was almost surreal, I started replaying things in sequence. Burnout felt more powerful and exciting. DJ Hero turned my room into a club. God of War somehow became even more visceral, deep lows and powerful bass spikes accentuating Kratos' more violent moves.

Even Gears of War 2, a game I've played through countless times with friends simply felt new< thanks to this new thing. In GoW, there is a very constant, very powerful rumbling that spreads itself through the hospital scene that I simply could NOT hear before, despite the fact that I've had surround for years. Old games felt new again.

Especially Dead Space. There aren't even words. I'd already known the game had incredible sound, but now? It was as if Issac was shooting me straight in the eardrum.




It was something that made me with I'd had it much earlier. The audio experience is so rich, so...complete now because of something seemingly so minute an upgrade, that I can only imagine how wonderful Bioshock, or Batman: Arkham Asylum would've sounded my first time through them. No regrets here though.

I'll definitely find out in their sequels.

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The Unboxing.

It's here.



The beginning of a beautiful friendship..



You know what that means. Stay tuned.

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Status update...

I don't have a computer anymore. I won't until September 7th.

I'm actually typing this from my PS3. Looks like the Blu-Ray/Mixed Media player that also plays games has another useful function, eh?

Does this mean a lack of posting from yours truly though? Not really. I'll be posting here and on Chocolate Lemon to the best of my ability. I've also managed to snap up applications for my phone that handle just about every blogging client I use, so aside from some small transition issues related to just HOW I manage my posts, I shouldn't be too off track.

I also missed half of my self-imposed quota for July, but that's water under the bridge by now.

What's upcoming? I haven't done any of my industry related thoughts in a while, so that's on the block...Upcoming games are of course getting some degree of focus (I'm playing the fantastic Batman: Arkham Asylum game, expect a writeup) as well as more news, even though, when put to scale, it's a relatively tame fall season as far as gaming goes. Many of the hits have been pushed back or are simply not releasing until 2010 (Bioshock 2, Splinter Cell, God of War 3, No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle, Super Mario Galaxy 2), but there is some saving grace in the form of some great niche and mainstreamers pulling out their guns. They're guns we'll be able to ENJOY because there ISN'T a avalanche of AAA titles clogging our collective interest and spreading us thin.

I'd also like to try my hand at some videos as well, but I'll save that for when I've got some decent hardware in tow. It's very hard to remember I'm essentially a blogging MacGuyver (iPhone, PS3, USB Keyboard combo, mooching off friends' PCs) at times.

There's also a new category, it's called IRL, for when I have to make a post like this regarding LIFE.

New post in a day or so!

-E.P.

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